I was 8 years old when my dad sexually abused me for the very first time. It was a late Sunday morning, my mom was at church with one of my younger brothers and my two sisters. I was in the room that I shared with my older and younger sister, just playing with my toys and pretending to cook with the cooking toy set that mom had for us. Dad was in his room at the back of the house, sitting on the couch, and he was playing his gaming counsel on the tv that dad had in his room. My older brother and one of my younger brothers were outside playing with their friends in the neighborhood. I heard dad call my name and told me to come into his room. I quickly got up from the carpeted floor and ran right into dad’s room. When I got there I said “Yes dad,” and I saw his pants were off his waist. I apologized to dad because I thought he was getting changed and going to see mom sometime later in the day. Dad looked at me and told me that I was alright and for me to come closer to him. I was hesitant to go closer to dad because his pants were down and I asked dad why I had to come closer to him. He told me that he wants to show me something that I would like and to trust him, so believing what dad told me, I walked closer to him. Once I was in arms reach of dad, he reached out and picked me up from under my arms. He gently laid me down on his bed and started to take my pants off. I got scared and asked dad what he was doing and also how mom told me that boys and girls should never show each other their private parts. Dad put his index finger in front of his lips and shushed at me. He told me to be quiet and to trust him. I stayed quiet and he started to use his index finger on the outside of my vagina. I told dad that mom will not be happy to know that he was doing this and mom does not allow this in her house. Dad told me that mom won’t find out about this and for me to keep my mouth shut if she ever ask me about what he did to me today.
While he was rubbing his index finger on my vagina, he had his other hand gripped around his penis and was moving his hand up and down on it. I asked dad what he is doing and he said he was trying to get me prepared for the surprise that he wants me to feel and see. I was confused on what dad meant and before I could ask him anymore questions, he shoved his penis inside of my vagina. I yelled in pain and dad told me to stay quiet and let him do his thing. Then he started to thrust inside me and I started to cry harder and begged him to stop because it was hurting me a lot. Dad told me that I am being over emotional and this doesn’t hurt at all. I told dad to please stop it and he started to thrust faster and harder while inside of my vagina. I heard him started to breathe even harder and he said I was being a very good girl for him. I told dad that I didn’t want to do this anymore and I wanted him to stop. He did a mini chuckle and he said if I am ready for my surprise, which that dumbfounded me because I thought what he was doing already was the surprise. I told dad that I don’t want his surprise and to please let me go or I would tell mom on what he did to me. His face expression turned from pleasure to anger and he started to thrust even harder inside of me. Then I felt him tense up and I felt this warmness inside of my vagina, dad just kept his penis deep inside me without moving. Then he slowly withdrawal his penis from inside of my vagina and I felt the warmness coming out of my vagina. I asked dad what he just do and he said it’s something that boys and girls do to each other when they love each other a lot. Then I sat up from the bed and I saw the sperm coming out of my vagina. I asked dad what this white stuff was and he said it’s something that a boy do when he feels very good and loved. Then dad went into the bathroom that was connected to his room and turned on the shower. He told me to go into the shower and wash my private part, which I was confused on why he wanted me to do that. I got off the bed and went into the shower and dad helped me wash my vagina. Then dad got my clothes back on me and told me to never tell anyone the surprise that he showed me today.
Later on that day, mom came home with my other siblings from church. She went into her room where dad was and I heard them talking to each other for a bit. I didn’t pay much attention to what they were saying because I was in the living room watching some tv. Then I heard mom call my name in their room and I ran to go see what mom needed me for. Mom asked me if dad did anything to me today and I looked at dad for a second, wondering if I should tell mom or not. Mom told me that I am safe and it’s okay to tell her on what dad did to me while she was gone. So I told him from the start to the ending of what dad did to me. Mom told me to go play with my toys and she is going to talk to dad more, I nodded my head and ran out of their room. Then I heard mom starting to yell at dad and dad was yelling back at mom. Which that scared me a lot because I thought I was the one that cause them to fight with each other.